As I Watch You Fall
by Aerith The Evenstar
Summary: It was painful to watch Jetfire fall into depression while I stayed by his side. I hardly left his side as he took over command of the Autobots after Optimus' death. This is a retelling of the events leading up to the main events in chapter 17 of TDATS.


ATE: Okay, I had the idea for this story for awhile now, and it mainly tells of the events mentioned in chapter 17 in TDATS when Jetfire was in charge of the Autobots. I already have an outline for this story written up so that I can have an idea of what I want to happen in this story. This is a sort of 'behind the scenes' kind of story for TDATS, so this might be a little treat for those who love the main story. Enjoy!

Declaimer: I don't own Transformers or Transformers Armada. I only own my OCs Valerie and Astera.

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><p><strong>As I Watch You Fall<strong>

Chapter 1

I couldn't help but think about what happened yesterday as I sat in class. Optimus was gone and the Matrix was left without an owner. I knew that at this time Jetfire was taking over the role of leader since he was the Vice Commander. I felt worried about him ever since he came back to the base two days ago and I knew that Optimus' death really hurt him; knowing how Astera's death affected him even after 70,000 years (7 years by human standards) it was like adding salt to a fresh wound for Jetfire. I know I was going to have to stay by his side to help him through this hard time and I was more than ready to do so. It wasn't going to be easy, but it was times like these that I needed to be there for him.

'_I hope I can help him through this._' I thought.

Before I knew it class was over and it was time to leave school. I found Alexis waiting for me with Sureshock and I rode with her to the base, but when we arrived there wasn't anyone to greet us. It was only a few minutes later after we entered the area where the Autobots had been working on their space ship that we realized why. The sound of Hoist and Red Alert's voices arguing loudly reached my ears, leaving Alexis, Rad, Carlos, Billy, Fred, and I shocked from the sight. I never saw them argue like this before, even when the Autobots had argued over how they were going to use the Requiem Blaster against the Decepticons.

It wasn't until Jetfire came in to break up the fight (that would've happened) between Hoist and Red Alert before things got out of hand, and it was then I noticed the state the shuttle mech was in. He looked somewhat tired (and I could feel it through the connection) despite how hard he tried to hide it from the others, reminding me of all the times I'd seen my Dad come home after having worked hard all day at his job. And I knew that the responsibilities of being both the stand-in leader and Vice Commander were slowly starting to take its toll on him. What didn't help was his work ethics since I knew how much of a workaholic he could be when it came to the tasks he had to do in his office (making me remember how he attempted to make up the work he missed while taking care of me _at the same time_).

"Break it up, you two! We're supposed to be working _together _as a _team_, not be at each others _throats_ like this." Jetfire told them.

I didn't really pay attention to the conversation that followed, but when I realized Jetfire was leaving the room I looked around the room to see if anyone was looking before going after him. I found him slowly walking down the hallway, and since he wasn't in the presence of the other Autobots Jetfire let his guard down by outwardly showing how tired he really was. In fact he didn't seem to realize that I was behind him, but that was most likely because he was too tired to notice. I felt sad seeing just how forlorn he looked at the moment that I just…I don't know. I honestly don't know how I could help him. Maybe if he knew that I was there for him it might make him feel slightly better.

"Jetfire." I called out.

I barely heard Jetfire gasp quietly as he came to a halt as soon as he heard me before turning around to look at me with surprised gold optics. Not only could I see his surprise, but I could feel it as well.

"Valerie…" Was his quiet response.

I took this time to go up to him. There had been many times where I'd always wanted to avoid eye contact with him (only for him to prevent me from doing so), but this time I was willing to make eye/optic contact with him. But what surprised me the most was that he decided to look away from me on purpose and tried to walk away.

"Why are you walking away from me, Jetfire?" I asked, trying to keep up with him. "Look at me." He stopped again, but this time he didn't look at me. "I'm supposed to be your confidence booster buddy and support you, remember? You told me that you could improve your self-esteem by making eye contact with the person you're talking to."

"It doesn't have anything to do with confidence or self-esteem." He told me.

I was taken aback by his response. Of all the people that could've said that, he was the last person I expected to say something like that. It was then that I realized what his real reason was.

"Is it because I'm seeing you like this?" I saw Jetfire tense up slightly from my question and it proved that I was right. "It is, isn't it?"

I heard him sigh quietly.

"I didn't want you to see me like this. I never wanted you to see me look weak and everything."

"…That's it? After all we've been through you're afraid of showing me a little bit of weakness?"

"You wouldn't understand."

I scoffed quietly at this.

"I'm the last person you should be saying that to." I stated. "Just because I'm seeing you like this doesn't mean that you're a failure or something. It's completely _normal_ to feel weak, Jetfire. It's what makes us human."

"You don't get it, Valerie. I'm _not _human, I'm a Transformer."

"But you're not a mindless machine lacking a personality or emotions. To me you're just as human as I am, along with all the others as well. We may be different, but we're still the same, and when it comes down to it we're both sentient beings. It's normal for us to have a personality and feel emotions, so therefore it's normal to feel weak."

Jetfire turned around to face me and I saw the expression in his gold optics soften as he gazed down at me. He bent down, scooped me up so that I was sitting in his cupped hands before bringing me up close to his face as he stood up.

"To think that someone so much younger than I am is telling me something that I-a full grown mech—should know." He mused quietly before he started walking off again, this time taking me with him. "I never thought that I'd be learning something so simple from a sparkling."

"I'm not a sparkling…at least by human standards…"

It was with that that Jetfire quietly chuckled.

"Nice save, Skydancer." He said, sounding slightly cheerful.

I felt my lips form into a smile, but it was a sad one. For some reason I knew this was going to be one of the few rare occasions I would be able to cheer him up like this…and it made me sad. We soon arrived at his office and Jetfire gently placed me on his desk before sitting down. That was when I noticed the state it was in. The surface of his desk was cluttered with datapads, a good number of them being stacked on top of each other in order to make room for Jetfire to work on the current datapad that he was typing away at.

I started to slowly realize that I was getting bored with just sitting here watching Jetfire work, but I could probably distract myself by thinking. Maybe next time I'd bring something for me to do, like a bunch of sewing kits or embroidery. That could work.

_Click_, _click_, _click_. _Tap_, _tap_, _tap_.

That was the sound I heard as it filled the air and drowned out the silence in the room. Occasionally Jetfire would sigh, but aside from that it was the only one I could hear. It never ceased to amaze me with how fast Jetfire (and very likely the rest of the Transformers as well) was capable of typing at a keyboard (and without making any mistakes), but that was probably because he was an advanced being. I was fast when it came to typing on a keyboard with a speed of 46 words per minute (though not as fast as Alexis who was able to type at 58 words per minute), but shuttle mech's speed put both of us to shame. It was as if he were typing at 1000 words per minute.

I jumped in surprise when Jetfire suddenly stood up from his chair and I watched as he went over to what appeared to be a cabinet before opening. At first I was wondering what he was doing, but then he pulled out what appeared to be a cube with a slightly glowing neon pink liquid contained inside.

"What is that?" I asked as Jetfire came back over and sat back down in his chair.

"This would be an energon cube. You could consider it as being our food when we need to consume it." He told me.

"You mean that liquid is energon?" Jetfire nodded. "But I thought you said that energon was your lifeblood and that it was a glowing neon blue color."

"That's one type of energon. While the energon that serves as our lifeblood is neon blue, the energon we consume is neon pink like you see it in this energon cube." He must've noticed the confused look on my face since he sighed. "Lemme explain it this way. You know how the majority of the human body is made up of water, right?"

"Yes, but that would be mainly because of our blood."

"Exactly. You know how water is important to all live on this planet and how you have to drink it in order to keep hydrated. Even though the water that makes up the human body is blood it's not considered water, but what water and blood have in common is that they're both liquids." He continued. "So now imagine that instead of the liquid in your body being blood it's water, and then you have to drink water in order to stay alive. That's basically how energon works for us. Do you understand?"

"I think so. The way you explained it was a little confusing at first, but then I started to get it." I replied. "Did you ever consider being a teacher or something?"

Jetfire chuckled.

"Me? A _teacher_? I never was one for teaching academics and never really had an interest in doing it. I'm better off training soldiers how to fight and teaching them how to come up with strategies, which I'm completely content with doing." He picked up the energon cube, but then returned his gaze to me. "Could you turn around for a bit?"

"What for?" I couldn't help feeling confused.

"I gotta drink this energon cube _somehow_, and that would mainly involve me having to take off my face mask. I wanna keep you guessing, you know?"

I felt my face heat up slight, but I still turned around. As tempting as I was to turn around, I resisted and shut my eyes as an extra measure. I wanted to see what he looked like so badly, but he was always hiding it.

"You gotta realize I have my reasons, Skydancer." Jetfire suddenly said.

My fact got warmer when I realized why he said that.

"Oh yeah. I forgot that you're able to hear my thoughts." I said sheepishly. I shook my head, trying to clear my current thoughts. "What does…energon taste like?"

I felt Jetfire's surprise because of my question. It was obvious that he hadn't expected me to ask that.

"It's not easy to explain how it tastes, and I don't exactly have anything to compare it to. It…kinda gives off this tingling sensation when it lands on your glossa. And before you ask, a glossa is what you humans would call a tongue."

"That almost sounds similar to how Pop Rocks work." I could feel Jetfire's confusion. "Pop Rocks are a type of candy we have."

"Oh." I heard the soft sound of something being placed gently on the desk before the sound of metal clinking together reached my ears. "I'm finished with the energon cube, so you can turn around now."

I did so and I saw that Jetfire's face mask was back on and an empty cube that had held energon in it on his desk as well. Curiously I sent up to it and place my hand against it's surface, surprised at how smooth it felt to the touch.

"So this is what an energon cube looks like when it's empty." I said.

"It does." Jetfire confirmed.

"It like glass, crystal clear glass. And it even feels like it too."

"I wouldn't exactly call it glass. Sure it may look like it, maybe even feel like it too, but it's a 100 times stronger than the glass you use on this planet. It has to be that way so that the energon cube doesn't shatter if it's dropped on the floor or anything."

I giggled quietly.

"That's some strong glass if it's capable of not breaking if dropped. I kind of wish we had that kind of glass. It probably would be easier to recycle and everything."

The rest of my day was spent by Jetfire's side as he worked hard on the work he had. Eventually I had to go home and I said goodbye to him before leaving. As I got into my bed I thought of Jetfire and hoped that he would be okay tomorrow after what happened today. I soon fell asleep, hoping that tomorrow would be different.

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><p>That's it for now in this story. As a little treat, I managed to finish my two drawings of Astera. That's right, TWO drawings, one of them being of Astera herself, while the other one is a 'what if' drawing with the idea of Astera still being alive and having a holoform. Here's the links:<p>

Astera  
>http :  aerith -the- evenstar .deviantart. com/#/ d4qu jfo

Astera (Holoform)  
>http : aerith -the- evenstar. deviantart. com/#/ d4q ul6u

Thank you for reading this story and please remember to review! ;D


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